For Our Tomorrow
by KanaRenee
Summary: He denied himself a future. She proved that he deserved it. [GRUVIA- Gray's POV] Picks up where Mashima left off in 416, TARTAROS END, through 499, GRAY AND JUVIA
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

Gray tossed snow atop the fire like a cooling blanket, dousing out the final embers of heat.

Smoke peeked below the mound and stretched its yearning fingers toward the moon, twisting about the crude grave before him and obscuring the names scratched into the wood. The heaviness in his heart that had guided him back to this place was no longer a stinging pain but a diligent softness. Gray was no fool. He had learned a difficult lesson in the battle with Tartaros, about fear and contentment and darkness. It was a part of him now.

It was part of the will Silver had left to him- a devil slayer was cursed to defeat that darkness or become it himself. There was so much guilt in his father at the end, regrets having eaten away at him even as he tried to save his son. Gray couldn't defeat him. He couldn't give him what he wanted.

Instead, that task had fallen to her.

"I'm going to defeat E.N.D."

"Yes." her voice echoed in the stillness of the snowed capped ruins.

Glancing toward Juvia, Gray took in the stiffness with which she smiled and tried to ignore the twinge of sadness he felt. She would followed him here— despite needing to recover from the magic barrier particles poisoning her body— just to so she could tell him the truth and then tell him goodbye. He had assumed Silver succumbed to the hole in his chest, despite being a corpse controlled by a necromancer. He had always been dead, just caught in a demonic purgatory. At some point the body would given in to destruction, no matter the focus pushing it along.

Instead Juvia had been the one who defeated the demon that pulled Silver's puppet string, and in turn gave his father the rest he had been denied. It should have never been her cross to bear in the first, had Gray not been too weak to do it himself. Juvia had believed the hand she played in Silver's passing was unforgivable. Gray wasn't sure that his thanks had been enough to show his gratitude, or his apologies enough to soothe the remorse she felt.

She had given Silver is only wish. His parents would reunite in the after life and watch the man their son would become, all thanks to the selflessness of a woman who thought she no longer had the right to love him.

"There's an inn just down the street." he offered, shrugging his jacket a bit tighter on his shoulders. "I'm staying there for the night, and I'll check the mission board in the morning to look for anything that might lead me to Zeref."

She nodded solidly, but the edginess in her eyes betrayed her fear. "Gray-sama won't return to Magnolia?"

"There isn't anything to return to right now."

The words were colder than he had intended, but Juvia took it in stride as if she would never expect anything other than coolness from him. Had he really backed her into that tight of a corner? Juvia had always said he was kind, but he didn't feel kind at all. Gray felt like a tightly wound spring, trapped under pressures far stronger than he was. Death followed in his shadow and trapped anyone who stood in its darkness.

The brighter the light, the darker and larger his shadow grew. Juvia was a blinding sunrise, and he was terrified of treading to close to her light.

"Master disbanded the guild."

Now that was surprising. "What do you mean?"

"Juvia only heard about it from the others. He said there was no reason to rebuild anymore, and told everyone that Fairy Tail as over." Juvia glanced once more toward the gravestones. "We are to carve our own paths now."

"That makes things simpler then. I have no reason to go back."

Gray watched as Juvia turned her eyes toward him, clasped hands tightening. "You will return one day, won't you Gray-sama? Everyone will be sad without you."

Images of his friends flashed in the back of his mind— could he really leave without saying anything to them? Natsu would try to stop him in order to preserve Igneel's memory. Lucy and Erza wouldn't understand his reasons. He wouldn't see Lyon's ugly mug for a while, but he couldn't have him joining him either. This was his own battle. The rest of the guild would question, but they would get by without him. If they were to forge their own way, the likelihood of them remaining in Magnolia was slim and the less people who knew where to find him, the less that could become causalities in his spiritual warfare.

If he didn't make it, that was okay. No one would have to know and the distance would soften the blow if they were learned. The words were at the tip of his tongue, trained and easy, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. Yes, everyone else would have someone to help them move forward. They would all be okay.

Juvia had him, despite the friends she made at the guild. She wouldn't be okay like everyone else. When would she give up waiting for him and try to find him herself?

"I'll come back." He couldn't wait around much longer. The chill of northern winds told him the flurries falling now would turn into a storm soon. "It's about to get bad out. You should head home."

"Juvia doesn't..." she paused, and Gray felt his stomach sink as he anticipated her answer. "The guild was the only home Juvia knew."

"You have no where to go?"

With a shake of her head, Gray knew he couldn't leave her. She had sought him out expecting rejection and his anger, and he had collapsed into her a vulnerable child who had never mourned those he had lost. Pushing Juvia away was not the answer anymore. It had been her image, smiling and calling his name, that he had felt the most guilt over as he began to cast iced shell. She knew about Silver. She had seen him broken in a way no one else ever had before.

He owed her more than this abrupt, perpetual goodbye.

"The missions I'll have to take are dangerous, but it's easier when there is someone with you. Until I find Zeref or you find somewhere else to start over, you could come with me."

"Is Gray-sama sure?" Juvia's cheeks turned pink. "Juvia doesn't think she deserves to go with Gray-sama anywhere now."

"I'm sure. It's not about what you deserve. I said I'd be with you, right?"

She glanced toward the glistening snowflakes on her boots. "Right. Thank you, Gray-sama."

"Let's go before the storm comes."

Juvia nodded, but turned toward the grave and knelt instead of following him. Arms outstretched before her, she bowed deeply to murmur what Gray assumed was her own apologies to his parents. Her words were nearly silent until her fingers began digging into the snow, voice a mixture of pain and graciousness that twisted his veins like rope about his heart.

She whispered an apology to Silver for ending his existence, a regretful confession to his mother for hurting her son. Juvia pleaded to them the virtues of the son they had not been able to raise, assuring them they was a man of whom they could be proud. She promised to take care of him for as long as he would allow her to be a part of his life.

Gray turned before she stood up and began walking. He didn't need her to protect him. He just needed her to continue shining like the sunlight to ward off the creeping shadows that would love to engulf her innocence and suck it dry. He needed her to live, or else he would be truly lost. He hadn't invited her to go with him with the intention of placing her in that position.

He had done it because as much as she had no where else to go, Gray needed to keep her close. She knew intimates parts of himself he tried to ignore. He wanted to believe that this time, at least, he could do something right by someone else the way she would always have done for him.

* * *

They made it to the inn just as the storm had broken the late night cloud cover, wind whipping the door shut behind them with the force of a god. Juvia's skin was red from the chill and covered with goosebumps, and she let her arms fall to invite the warmth of the building to all parts of her. Gray shouldn't have let her stay outside so long in her dress. What was a manageable chill to him was subzero to most others, yet she hadn't complained as they made their way through the ruins to the main road.

Scents of pine and cedar wafted through the air as Gray pushed through to the main desk of the request the keys to a room with two beds. The host smiled as she passed him the sign in sheet and a set of keys as he had specified.

"That will be 2,000 jewel, sir."

Highway robbery is what it was, but Gray handed the bills over regardless and pocketed the keys. He found Juvia sitting in a navy blue chair beside the lobby fireplace, hands outstretched as she flexed her fingers in the glowing light, testing the defrosting of her joints as the heat warmed her.

"Juvia has never been so cold. Being here feels like she is on fire."

"Because you were out in the cold too long. I got the room, lets go."

"Room?" If she had spun around any quicker, Gray was sure her head would have gone flying into the fireplace.

"Two beds." he amended. "Don't get any ideas. It's not like that."

"But Gray-sama and Juvia will be sharing a room!"

"With _two beds._ "

Why hadn't he opted for two rooms instead of one? The thought hadn't crossed his mind until the mirth that filled her face bordered on indecency. Sometimes he wondered what kinds of things she imagined, and then there were times like this when he was glad he couldn't read her mind. It was probably best that he didn't know.

The door creaked open, revealing a small room with two beds pressed against opposing walls. The only other pieces of furniture in the room was a small table with two chairs near a fireplace, which sat near the doorway to a washroom. It would work for tonight, but next time he would invest the extra jewel into two rooms. This was too small to offer much in the way of privacy. Gray moved to claim the bed furthest from the door.

"Gray-sama, look!"

Juvia's attention had been captured by the covered platter sitting on the table; lifting the lid exposed a tray of sliced meats, cheeses, winter vegetables layered atop ice and candied fruit that the region was well known for. He had to hand it to the innkeeper; they knew how to cater to the customer. There was enough there that they wouldn't need to find another meal until morning.

Taking a seat, Juvia popped a mountain cherry into her mouth, savoring the heightened sweetness. Gray hesitated only as long as it took for his stomach to voice its aggravation and then succumbed to dining with her. It wouldn't be the first time. They'd shared many meals at the guild before, and a few in Magnolia while out on missions, but somehow this felt different.

Gray wasn't sure he wanted to explore why. He had known since the Grand Magic Games that Juvia was more than a friend to him, but he had stopped at that and refused to actually place her on a scale of closeness and affection. If it hadn't been for Ultear, he wouldn't be here now to even question it. Time had saved him, but it wasn't so kind to those around him. This kind of intimacy was the barrel of a loaded gun; once he gave in to the safety, it would go off and remind him why he kept people far from his truths.

Except now that she knew them, Juvia was unwittingly dancing near the edge of a cavern with a dark murky river. One wrong move and she would fall and be lost to him.

He held back the shudder. Pushing her away hadn't worked. Rejecting her hadn't worked. Keeping her close seemed to be the only option to keep her from being the next victim of his curse.

"What's this?"

"It's winter squash." Gray pointed to a small dish of brown sauce. "Dip it in that. It's good."

Juvia did as instructed and chewed. Sauce dripped along her lips.

"Seriously? You've always been a messy eater."

"Juvia is sorry. Gray-sama just likes messy foods."

He rolled his eyes. Caramande franks had been one thing. A piece of squash was a piece of cake. "Like this."

He dipped the squash into the sauce and quickly inserted it into his mouth, chewing slowly. The squash burst with liquid that mixed with the lightness of the sauce to create a flavor unique to his home. Gray couldn't remember the last time he tasted this. Ur never cut up vegetables like this, because Lyon didn't like them and it was a waste to make three different meals. It must have been before Deliora.

"See?"

The smile on Juvia's face was genuine this time. "Juvia has never seen Gray-sama enjoy food so much."

"It's good. I like this kind of stuff."

"It's easy to prepare, Mirajane could have made this for you."

He shook his head. "No. It has to be fresh. This stuff only grows out here, and it loses its flavor when it's taken out of the cold too long. It'd be nothing but mush when it go to Magnolia."

She nodded in understanding, then pointed to another item on the tray. "What kind of meat is this?"

Gray poked at it with a fork, flipping it to view all sides. "Looks like reindeer salami. Try it."

Tentatively, Juvia lifted the slice and took a bite. Her reaction was not immediate although the flavor was strong; Gray could smell the smokiness from across the table. The moment her lips turned to a frown he passed her a glass of water. Reindeer wasn't for everyone. He hadn't been the biggest fan of it either.

"That was... interesting."

He smirked despite himself. That was the innocence that made Juvia who she was, and Gray found himself wondering what other things she had never experienced. He had spent so much of his time in Fairy Tail invested in her development, from the moment she joined. Master had assigned him the role of showing her around and introducing her to the way Fairy Tail worked; her first mission as a mage of Fairy Tail had been with him. How many other firsts had he experienced with her that he hadn't known about? Did she always jump into them head first and confident like she had just now?

When the lid of the tray covered the remainder of the meal, the moment was broken. It didn't matter in the end, either way. He may have been invested in building her strength from the first day she was announced to the guild, and he may have invited her to take her first steps outside Fairy Tail with him as well, Gray knew better than to allow it to last. The longer he continued with her and reached for E.N.D, the closer to danger he would place her.

Maybe it was her choice, but he didn't have to go along with her plan. Someone like her didn't deserve to end up torn apart in the mess that he was walking head first into. He stopped smirking and excused himself to shower.

He needed the shock of hot water on his skin. He wasn't thinking straight. It hadn't been a normal day for him, but it was one that should have drawn a line he could no longer pass. Problem was, it wasn't himself he had to keep from crossing.

It was her.

* * *

"How about this one?" Juvia pulled a sheet from the mission board and handed it to Gray. "The reward isn't listed, but Juvia feels the reason may be due to the difficulty."

He accepted the yellowed sheet, glancing over the details. The mission involved a small village south of them which had been trapped in an eternal sleep spell. No one thus far had been able to break it and the mage responsible was believed to still be within the area. Defeat the mage, awaken the villagers, and the reward would be decided upon completion. From the looks of the sheet, it had been pulled down and placed back up multiple times.

What kind of magic could hold an entire village in perma-sleep, and why would anyone want to do that in the first place? The edginess built up in him spoke of potential leads. There must be a reason the mage involved needed the villagers to be asleep while they remained near. It was too early to assume connection to Zeref, but the flyer was vague on the affects of the villagers hibernation. The cause could be sinister or amusement.

Juvia had selected this for a reason other than the reward. It wasn't a mission to fix something or solve a problem. It was one likely caused by a dark mage, and where dark magic was concerned there was usually a connection to Zeref.

Zeref had the Book of E.N.D. He was the enemy they needed to find.

"How can we defeat someone who uses dream magic? Our magic is physical."

"We won't know until we encounter them, but we have faced many fearsome enemies." she offered.

Gray glanced toward the paper once more, weighing the risks. They didn't know how the user put others to sleep. Was it a territorial magic, an illusion or require phsyical contact? How had the enemy managed to remain secluded and secretive all this time? What had happened to the others who had attempted the mission?

Who had placed the bulletin?

Eventually, curiosity gave way to caution. He nodded and raised the sheet. "Hey! We're taking this one."

"That one?" The innkeeper's eyes widened when he realized which mission ledger Gray held. "Are you sure you're up for it? We have had many mages attempt that one, but none have been successful. It's a lost cause if you ask me."

"You must have kept it posted for a reason though." Juvia offered.

"We're Fairy Tail mages." Gray added. "We can handle it."

"Fairy Tail? The guild that won the Grand Magic Games?" the man's eyes crinkled a bit with a smile. "I thought you looked familiar. Gray Fullbuster and Juvia Lockser, right? That unison raid you performed in the final battle was magnificent."

Juvia glanced toward Gray. He pretended not to notice as he handed the mission flyer to the man. The excitement over the Games never seemed to wane; what they thought was a large event for the central cities of Fiore seemed to reach all the corners of the continent. He still wasn't used to being a household name, nor had he yet accepted that his crowning moment was the unison raid.

People made assumptions. Unison raids were supposed to only be manageable between people with strong emotional connections and complimentary magic. The way the innkeeper looked between them now, Gray could make an educated guess at what he was thinking. They'd just stayed the night together in a shared room in this man's inn.

"You know what we can do then. Put us down for this mission and we'll head out now."


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

The train ride out of the northern continent into the temperate central climate was long and uneventful; Gray spent the bulk of the time strategizing ways to use ice make against a mage who controlled a nonphysical magical power. Rufus was the closest Gray had encountered to an enemy of that caliber, and his first battle with him had been a flop. Memory Make was very different from Ice Make in that it controlled and reflected the power of the enemy back at them and predicted the next move before it happened.

There were only so many options in this case. Juvia's water body could be their biggest advantage if the magic was based through physical touch; she was immune to most physical attacks, and without a physical body it was unlikely that the dream magic could touch her. If it was a Dream Make magic, that would take something more creative to circumvent. Molding magic was all about the imagination; if someone could mold a dream like Gray could mold ice, then the challenge would depend on the limitations in place once one was in the users dream world.

Magic power on the scale required to hold an entire village asleep for the amount of time noted on the bulletin was another clue; could a person really hold in that much power? There was a chance that was the motivation of the attack, the mage a spider twinkling it's web to attract prey. Once trapped, the villager's magic became the sustenance for the continuation of the spell and harvesting of power.

Gray glanced toward Juvia, asleep on the seat opposite of him. She had been unusually quiet and drifted off early; he wondered not for the first time if she had slept at all last night. He answered sleep's siren call as soon as its voice was heard and slept like a rock throughout the night. Juvia had already been up when he had risen and now she slept as if sitting upright in on a wooden train bench were the most comfortable scenario she could imagine.

Maybe she hadn't fully healed from the particle poisoning when she had chosen to follow him to the ruins. Gray's eyes narrowed at the thought, irritation prickling below his skin. Was she pushing herself for his sake? She appeared well enough on the outside, but how well was she functioning internally? Would the mission be too much for her?

The only person who had the answers to those questions was asleep.

Shifting in his seat, Gray turned his attention from Juvia toward the window. At some point the landscape had gone from snow covered to rocky as they traveled further south. Still no trees, but bushes and grass littered about in patches. They would be arriving within the next hour or two and then this short respite would be over. Were they ready to take on another major enemy so soon after the fight with Tartaros?

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Gray sighed. That was part of the unease, but it wasn't all of it. Yesterday still rang strongly in the back of his mind, with the shock of blue hair in the whiteness of snow, the warmth of her body as he had lost his composure.

Could he really put her in that position again? It wasn't a question on whether or not Juvia could handle herself.

It was whether or not he was prepared for the consequences.

* * *

A carriage took them from the train station to the a small fork on a dirt beaten path; the driver refused to bring them any closer. The village was cursed, he had said, to bring any who enter it to an eternal slumber and he wasn't going to spend the last years of his life asleep. Juvia had smiled kindly and assured him that soon he would be able to continue his trade route with the sleeping village, then jumped down from her seat.

Gray hadn't said anything to reassure the driver, but he did paid the man for his time and risk.

The road they'd been left on was more of a trail through a thick oak grove; plants had begun sprouting where feet no longer dared to tread. Gray pushed himself to the head of their two person line and tried to convince himself that the anxiousness bubbling inside him was excitement and not anxiety at all. He was keenly aware of the way each branch moved in the breeze, the lack of animal noises. No birds flew overhead. He could hear a creek somewhere in the distance, which meant they were likely on the village's water source. Following the direction of it's flow would take them right into the heart of conflict.

Or send them to an early sleep.

"Gray-sama?" Juvia's voice wafted through the air, unexpected enough it made Gray jump.

Everything else around them was so silent, minus the sound of feet crunching over fallen leaves and rock, it was easy to believe he was the only living thing in that space. Juvia was just an overwhelming presence that lurked in his shadow and threatened to devour him. In that moment Gray wasn't sure which outcome scared him more.

"Huh?"

"Juvia can see you are tense." her voice had lowered to a whipser, as if interrupting the silences was sinful. "Don't be, Gray-sama. Everything will be okay this time."

He continued to lead them through the forest, comforted by her words. "I'm fine. Just don't let your guard down."

"But Gray-sama-"

"I said I'm good." Gray interrupted, taking a sharp turn as the trail diverted in the direction of the creek.

She didn't respond, and he didn't look back. It was better this way, right? Keeping her close, but still holding her at arms length— just enough distance to keep her from being a target. Just enough to keep her from getting the idea that he needed saving. He didn't need saving, and he didn't need the trust he had shown her yesterday. He just needed someone, for once, to _live_.

Small thatched roofed houses appeared in the thicket just when Gray was sure they'd taken a wrong turn somewhere. The streets were nearly bare except for the people lounging soundly on benches and awkwardly over fruit and vegetable stands. It could have been a scene from a massacre, but instead each body lifted and fell with breath. No blood, just uninterrupted slumber.

The people of this village had been stopped before they realized they were under attack, bodies strewn about the area and through the homes in the center of daily routines. There were people collapsed over their water buckets, mothers sleeping in rocking chairs holding snoring babies, a man collapsed over his dining table face down in his meal. A peddler lay slumped against the side of his carriage, patrons on the ground with money outstretched in their palms.

Gray shuddered. There was a distinct chill in the air that slipped past the skin and into the soul, a sort of magic pulse that permeated through the tiny village. It licked against all parts of him like waves cresting to shore, trying to tug him ever so gently along with it. What would happen if he decided to follow it's call?

Juvia came up beside him, her face marked with concern and determination. She felt for these people, the same way she felt for everyone, but her focus was on the enemy who had caused it. She knew as well as Gray did that the only way to fix this was to find the source of the magic power and end it's control. How much longer could the people survive without food or water? What had happened to the other mages who had attempted to save them?

They walked without words, relaying instead on a combination of head movements and hand gestures to communicate. Eerie silence meant anything they did could echo and be detected by whoever they faced. If the enemy could sneak in and take an entire village out with the swiftness that would have been needed to stop the village in it's tracks, they were likely much more cunning than either of them had thought.

This was an enemy who was in perfect control of their power, and did not need to reveal themselves to use it.

As they turned into the center of the village, the air grew thick with fog. Gray couldn't make out most of the street or where the raised dais he had viewed from a distance had gone. The fog enveloped him too quickly for him to register that he had lost sight of Juvia until he could no longer see her hair against the white. He spun, suddenly anxious and angry; was this the magic? Had he stumbled into the dream without realizing it?

He pinched himself. It still hurt, so he couldn't be asleep yet. He had control of his body as well, although he had grown sluggish as his limbs weighted. The mist was calling him to rest his weariness. Gray struggled to keep himself alert.

Where was Juvia?

Which way was out?

Had he been spinning in circles, or was the vertigo in his head an affect of the fog?

Gray could feel his body stumbling despite the bulk of his efforts, just as his magic power began to ebb away. Magic users who can take the power of others were rare and dangerous mages, but one who could tempt someone into no longer fighting was lethal. The idea of a poison hadn't crossed Gray's mind and he had walked right into the trap.

Dammit.

Where _was_ Juvia? He couldn't fall asleep, not until he made sure she was okay. They couldn't both fall victim to this magic. He lashed out haphazardly as his vision grew dark, grasping at air and hoping to find something solid he could cling to. Her hair, her dress, her arm- anything that could show him that she was still standing.

He didn't think about how he had failed. The idea of having left her to fend off this enemy alone never crossed his mind, just a burning desire to make sure he found her before his eyelids closed. The need to see her before he fell to sleep was stronger than anything he had ever felt before and it kept his feet dragging further into the mist.

When the sleep finally took him, Gray didn't feel himself fall because he was floating in a darkness so thicket it choked him just the same as it blotted out the light.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

 _His eyes opened, and all Gray could feel was the shaking of his hands and the echo of denial in his chest. Everything felt raw and bloody; his hands, his feet, his knees all wet with something sticky and metallic. His breathing came labored and short, mixed with coughing and sobbing._

 _Why was he crying? Why couldn't he stop?_

 _As the blackness edged away from the center of his eyes, Gray could make out only the smiling lips before him, tinged red with blood. The lips turned into a face, streaked in tears. The face turned into a cascade of blue hair, stained purple in places and brown in others. The hair turned into Juvia as she lifted her head slowly, exposing the arms shoved into her chest._

 _No. No. Not Juvia. Anyone, anything— just not Juvia._

 _"Words cannot express how... happy... Juvia was getting to... know you, Gray-sama..."_

 _He wanted to reach out to her, but he couldn't. He wanted to rip her arms out from her torso and see that it was all a joke, her water body had saved her and he was afraid for nothing. She tilted her head and began to fall and Gray knew there was no coming back._

 _He was falling too, down to his knees with a deafening crunch he couldn't feel, only hear. There was gravel stuck in his skin but Gray didn't care. Now that his vision had fully cleared, he couldn't take his eyes off her image. It shook as he shook._

 _Juvia. Why Juvia? Why did it have to be her? How had he failed in saving the one person he wanted to protect?_

 _He could see she was still breathing, though her body shuddered with each attempt. She had punctured a lung— hell, she had punctured a lot of herself. Why, though? Why did she have to fall like this?_

 _Gray's hands were covered in droplets of her blood that had sprayed on him; he didn't bother to wipe it off as he crawled toward her. The clinking of a chain drew his attention to the weight about his neck; a chain ran from him to her, slowly fading away as she drew shorter, wheezing breaths._

 _The reality of the situation cut through him like white hot flame, burning the tips of his fingers and the ends of his hair. She had sacrificed herself to free him from whatever this chain was. He had let another person he loved lose themselves so he could keep on living. This was his fault, his curse— the inky darkness that had taken his vision was the blackness needed to seal away her light._

 _She had always been too much and too good. He would never deserved to keep her this close. If he had been stronger, if he had pushed her away when she came to him at the grave, if he had stuck to his rejection after the Grand Magic Games. If he would never have shown her kindness or backed her decision to join Fairy Tail, he wouldn't be collecting her in his arms now, blood pouring from her back along his skin._

 _Her eyes would be open. They wouldn't be his to peer into, but they would be open and a sign that she was living._

 _Gray had known better. He knew the more he cared for someone, the closer that person would come to sacrificing for him. His parents, Ur, Ultear, his father once more... and now Juvia. He had tried to keep her at bay but she had come onto him like gentle snow, and before he knew it the snow had melted and he was drowning in her river. She had taken his broken pieces and given them meaning, shown him strength in his emotions he had never known was there._

 _For all that, he had given her a death by the shadow that followed him. He had let his guard down, and the victim was not him but Juvia._

 _"This can't be happening... no..."_

 _As her body lay limply in his arms, Gray could feel his muscles tighten to cradle her closer. He had thought he would have more time. He had thought he could be honest with her one day, when the threat had lifted and he learned how to escape the darkness lurking beneath his skin. It only occurred to him momentarily that he didn't know when he had come to that conclusion, but it felt natural and right and wrong all at the same time._

 _She was someone precious to him, something he had failed to cherish enough._

 _"I'll take you more seriously." he didn't recognize his own voice, broken with tears and a lisp of desperation. "Just open your eyes! Juvia!"_

 _She didn't open her eyes, no matter how he begged or how many of his tears rained on her face. She didn't move to wrap her arms around him in comfort. She didn't promise that everything was going to be okay._

 _She wouldn't do any of those things again._

 _No more breads baked with his face. No more hand knit scarves and ridiculous anniversaries._

 _He had been too late. With Juvia, it was supposed to be different— he was supposed to be on time, like with Ultear and the dragon invasion and Silver. He was supposed to always be one step ahead to keep her from suffering on his behalf. The first day he met her, she promised to protect him. He had fought since then to make sure he was the one protecting her._

 _Yet here she was, breath no longer breaking through her lips, her skin unnaturally cool to the touch._

 _He had failed._

 _The scream that tore from Gray's lungs ripped from the deepest parts of his soul, torn and bleeding. He screamed toward the sky in anger, in anguish, in fear, in loss; there was no coming back from losing her. He couldn't pick these pieces up, because he needed her there to do it. She had become a part of him and that part of him was now forever missing._

 _Empty._

* * *

"Gray-sama!"

A sharp splash on his skin drew his eyes open again, head whipping left and right for the source of water and the voice. Heart pounding, Gray struggled to shake the sleepiness out of his limbs and stand. He knew he had heard her voice, clear as day.

It was a dream. A nightmare. Juvia was fine.

She was fine.

The heaviness in his eyelids threatened to pull him back under until the world became lost behind a watery mirror. Despite the instinct to hold his breath, Gray forced himself to breath deeply. He had experienced the magic of the globe about him as both an enemy and an ally; Juvia's will flowed through as his lungs filled with oxygen. His own magic power pricked a warm static beneath his skin in response to the soft caress of hers entering his body as liquid air.

In and out. In and out. His limbs became lighter and his vision sharper.

The fog had been how their enemy overtook a village and defeated all those who had contested them. Frustration sank like concrete as Gray pulled himself to his feet. If he had gone on this mission alone he would have become part of the body count; his fear and the sound of her voice may have awoken him but he would have fallen right back under the spell. You couldn't lose to the same enemy twice if you didn't survive the first loss.

Gritting his teeth, Gray pulled himself into stance. He couldn't afford to be shaken or weak; he had defeated greater odds and dirtier tricks on his own without the power of the guild to back him. He could do this too.

"Ice Make: Shield!"

Ice erupted in front of him and dispersed the poisoned fog. Juvia had circled back toward him in a rush of translucent water, her skin, hair and clothing all a particles of her magic floating just within his sight. Her eyes had narrowed.

"There!" she pointed, and he summoned the ice wall to follow until impact.

The sound of his ice breaking meant he had made a hit. His followed quickly after with a barrage of ice lances, feeling the quaking echo in his feet as they struck point. The fog began to thin, exposing shadows and figures of the structures around them. To his right was an open street lined with houses; to his left was Juvia and the central fountain. And straight ahead—

Juvia shot off quickly, twisting her water body about their target to hold them in place. The fact she had not removed the bubble around his head and chose to remain in her liquid form meant the air was still their biggest obstacle. The only way to stop the fog would be to stop the person responsible for it.

She had them on lock. He just needed to finish it.

Gray shot one hand above him, crystallsizing a bow of ice out of thin air. Maybe it was too much, but he wasn't taking another chance. Closing his eyes, he willed the sight of Juvia's bloodied limp form from the back of his mind and took convicted aim.

It wasn't enough to be strong only when he had her there to pick up his mess; she had given Silver rest at her own expense, and now he was fighting thanks to her forethought to offer him air. He had to be strong on his own— he would make sure no one else was involved when he fought E.N.D. Gray would make sure no one had to chose between them lives and his own again. He had room for error.

The arrow flew from his bow, and Juvia split off from the water lock the same time it impacted the water lock. Debris shot in all directions from the force. Juvia melded back into her solid body to keep from being dispersed in the air, tumbling gracelessly back to the ground.

Gray reached for her without thinking, freezing his own feet to the ground as an anchor. His torso and arms whipped him awakwardly but he held fast and pressed her into his chest. Stone and ice cut into his back, seconds of briefly lived pain, until the power of their attack ebbed. The destroyed courtyard came into view without the veil of mist, a silent vestige of what it had once been. Gray released the ice about his feet at the same time Juvia removed the water circling his face.

He should let her go, but the feel of her warmth next to his skin was a balm on his mind, proof that it _had_ just been a dream after all.

No, it hadn't been a dream at all. He had control of himself. It was a lucid nightmare. It was real, in some way— a warning of the cost if he trailed his path wrong.

"Gray-sama..."

The cracking of the ice behind them pulled him back into action, arms leaving Juvia as abruptly as he had taken her. Gray turned to see if the target would stand to fight again. The woman struggled to her feet, dark hair dripping over pale skin. She limped for three steps before falling into a tumbled mess, and did not rise again

It was over.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

"We cannot thank you enough!"

The chorus of villagers was all praise; they complimented Juvia's hair, wooed at Gray's prowress and smiled as the dream mage was toted off by the magic council. Within the few hours it took for the council to appear, the woman had refused to speak but also lost the youthfulness of her appearance. It hadn't taken long for Gray to realize she had been siphoning the life energy from the villagers to sustain her own.

He and Juvia truly had arrived just in time. For once, he didn't feel like basking in their thankfulness. He could have been lost alongside them if Juvia had not been there. This was not his success, it was hers.

"There must be something we can do for you?" the young woman Gray had seen sleeping with her child spoke up, turning her eyes toward the baby.

Juvia lifted her hands. "There is no need. Juvia and Gray-sama just wanted to help, and the reward is coming from the council."

"Nonsense!" an elderly man continued. "We want to show our gratitude ourselves. Without you, who knows if anyone would have come to our aid."

The murmur about the small gathering was one of agreement. Juvia again tried to assure the villagers that they needn't worry, but her efforts fell on stubborn ears. She glanced in his direction and Gray shrugged. Let the village treat them. Part of their reward was going to help repair the village square, anyway.

All the back and forth was just delaying the inevitable. They would leave and the village would go back to daily life without them until the entire incident became a distant memory of a time long past. A few more missions, and then Gray would split off on his own.

If today had shown him anything, it was that he needed to become stronger on his own if he wanted to protect anyone. He couldn't be waiting at the end of every difficult battle for someone to swoop in and take care of it for him. E.N.D was a demon strong enough to defeat the strongest black mage known to Fiore, and Gray had to be even stronger than that. No one else would fight that fight but him.

"Juvia feels bad..." Juvia murmured beside him, eyes worrying over the small crowd in front of them.

He shrugged again. "If it makes them happy, it'd be rude to stop them."

"Does Gray-sama think so?"

"Look at them." Gray gestured with a tilt of his head. "I doubt anything this exciting ever happens here. They've been asleep for months and they want to do something to celebrate that they're awake. It's as much about them as it is about us."

She smiled and nodded. "Then it would be wrong to stop them."

"I'm starving." he grumbled.

"Then please, come to the bed and breakfast! We'll make you something local and warm while we prepare your reward."

The deep chatter had paused almost instantly, everyone nodding with with bright eyed smiles. Gray felt almost as if they were looking through him, prying for the deepest secrets he could hold. The jumping feeling in his chest could only be the creeps. They were a decisive people, quick to action. He crossed his arms.

Why the hell did they have to prepare it?

"That would be wonderful!" Juvia clapped her hands together, moving forward toward the woman who invited them. "Juvia has always wanted to stay at a bed and breakfast!"

"Then you will love this one. It's nearby."

She spun toward him, lips spread wide in a smile. "Gray-sama will come too, right?"

His mouth opened to reject the idea. They needed to get out of here soon and continue looking for clues on E.N.D. The thought of sleeping over in the village caused his nerves to twist. The people needed time to orient themselves to waking life. He and Juvia were not a part of that process, as much as he knew she would be willing to remain and help.

"Yeah."

He was hungry. Gray tried to convince himself that was the only reason he agreed, but way she closed her eyes and tilted her head, the way she turned to lead the way with a swoop of her skirt—

He was becoming to aware of the things that filled Juvia's presence. Gray followed, but at a safe distance where he could watch her but not be tempted to pull closer. He had allowed her to come with him and with that action he had given her access to cross the invisible line he set for himself. She stood at it's edge now and he twitched with indecision, too afraid to push her away and equally as terrified at the temptation to pull her close.

Juvia was patient, she always had been, so he knew if he wanted he could break this budding responsibility he felt toward her if he wanted and she would still be waiting for him when and if he decided to come back. The problem was, that same responsibility reminded him that he had already wounded her enough. He was tired of hurting her. She was persistent and gentle and it annoyed him because he couldn't help himself from wanting to give her a reason to keep trying.

He had to keep the distance between needed to erase the image of her blood stained lips and the feel of her life escaping his hands by reminding himself and experiencing her life. The memory of the dream would flash for a moment then pass, but it stuck with him as if in warning. He couldn't shake it's ghostly fingers wrapped about his heart, tugging on his instincts.

 _Save her Gray,_ it whispered through his bones, _save her before she tries to save you._

* * *

The bed and breakfast was as cozy as it was plain; the mistress of the house had one extra room with one bed she rented for 500 jewel a night. Gray shot down the idea before Juvia could propose it but agreed to a homemade meal. It was served on a low rise table in the center of a converted living room, next to the fireplace and across from the lounge space. Instead of chairs they were given patchwork pillows to kneel upon and the food came to them in courses, although their disjointed form proved they were intended to be served all at once.

Gray's stomach wouldn't shut up though, so the mistress brought out cold sliced cheeses and bread to start them off. It did the trick. His stomach settled, satisfied that more food was to come shortly if that was all it had been given so far.

Juvia chattered away with the woman's husband, learning in a few questions what would have taken Gray days to uncover on his own. The village had been there for hundreds of years, settled by nomads who wished to escape the threat of the dragons by living peacefully in the the forests shadows. The people traded for goods but grew most of their own food and hunt for their meat. Visitors were commonplace enough, though none tended to remain for long. People did come and go but most of the people living there could trace their ancestry back to the village's founders.

This man and his wife rented out the room in their home to traveling mages who passed by on their way to Crocus. They had a pet cat they had not yet managed to locate since waking. They both reported pleasant dreams and a hesitation to fall asleep that night.

Gray ate and listened and wondered how Juvia managed to put people at such ease.

"Gray-sama and Juvia will have to leave soon." she replied when asked what their plans were. "They are looking for clues for another mission."

"Sama, huh? Are you a lord of some sort?" the man leaned over the table, pointing his fork in Gray's direction.

He shrugged. "I'm just a friend. Juvia's just very formal."

"Gray-sama is more than just Juvia's friend."

Her eyes turned toward him, locking tightly with his own. Gray paused mid bite, waiting for the natural response; she would confess her love, take hold of him and profess of how they would get married, have thirty kids and grow old together. His tongue prepared the sharp remark he would need to gain back control of the situation and waited for the focus in her eyes to fade to that of wonderment.

It never did. Juvia didn't begin touting off nonsense, she didn't smile. She just watched him and waited for his response.

Gray found he didn't have one.

"Seems complicated." the mistress tutted her tongue and laid out a warm pie. "As all things worthwhile in life are."

Juvia turned her attention back to the table, proclaiming the beauty of the pie's structure and the tastiness of its smell. Gray was sure he saw a flash of disappointment in her face before she had turned her welcoming expression back on the couple, but he couldn't ask. Even if he wanted to, he didn't know how he would.

He took his slice of pie and sat the rest of the meal in silence, praying for a knock at the door that would be the villagers with their prize. Then they could go and put this sleeping town, it's people, his nightmare and the awkwardness of the last moment behind them. Juvia continued her conversation with the gentleman, digging up morsels of information on the town and their personal lives. Gray pretended to listen.

The conversation went well beyond the end of his pie slice, verging off into the best plants to go during certain seasons and something about the mildness of their weather. He had lost track when the matron began cleaning the table; she had to say his name twice before he realized he had set his elbow on the plate. Juvia turned her attention back to him with a questioning glance.

"It's late. You two should stay."

"We can't." Gray answered quickly. "The sun is still out, we need to get going before it turns dark."

"Don't leave yet!" the door to the bed and breakfast flew open, followed by a rushed apology for slamming it into the wall. Three men stood there, covered in dirt and grime but smiling wide.

The man at the table stood tall in greeting. "It's ready?"

"Yea. Our wives are finishing it up, but we can bring them now."

One of the men entered the room, offering his hand to Juvia to help her up. She took it shyly, the motions of her body telling it was not a gesture she was accustomed to. Gray tried not to care as they pulled her to her feet and the mistress handed them their bags. Her expression had warmed.

"Just remember, when you see what we've prepared for you, that it comes from the deepest parts of our hearts. We are so thankful for what you have done." she laid a hand on Juvia's head shortly, as a mother to her child.

Gray pulled himself up from the ground and strapped both of their packs to his back, a signal that it was time to go. The three men who had come to the door urged them to follow out and down the street to the edge of the village where the homes became sparse and the space between them grew. The sun began dipping to the west and the sky changed from blue to a combination of pink and purple.

It was beginning to occur to Gray that he might not like what they had to show him, and that perhaps this battle wasn't yet over. Why did they need to bring them so far from the center of town to present their reward of gratitude?

The men assured them it would be just a bit further before veering left through a small trail in the thicket. They couldn't walk side by side, so Gray lagged behind and told Juvia to go ahead. He had the best vantage point from the rear. Muscles tensing with suspicion, he calculated the range of movement he would have should this turn into an ambush. Maybe three on two was not the best odds, but split them up in a space where they could only move single file and the odds increased.

No attack came in the first minute they walked, nor did one come in the subsequent ones. Instinct gave way to reason, and Gray dropped his guard. His eyes focused on Juvia's hair as it swayed in front of him instead of the woods around him or the shadows that had grown as the sun dipped behind them. In this light the blue of her hair was a shimmer of twilight, not quite dark enough to be considered night but too deep to be day. He hadn't noticed before how it shifted colors in the shadows.

Gray also didn't notice they had walked out off the trail and into a clearing until the group stopped. He stumbled to keep from bumping into Juvia's back.

"Here. This is it. Please accept it as a token of our thanks. You took us from the dream and back to our home. We'd like for you to have one as well."

Juvia's hands had jumped to cover her mouth, eyes wide. "Gray-sama and Juvia's... home?"

 _Oh hell no._

Gray stomped his way around her, his eyes moving along the rest of the path, past the crude wooden gate made of tree of limbs, to the steps that lead to a door. The door was attached to a wall, and the wall was topped with a roof. He didn't need to see the rest, the lightness of dread building in his gut already told him what he needed to know.

A house. The village had given them a house.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

"No Juvia."

His voice was final and filled with dread. Could people really just gift a house to someone without the paperwork to show ownership or a proof of purchase? How the hell had they come to the conclusion that a house was the best way to show their gratitude? Gray turned his attention from the building to Juvia, who hadn't moved her eyes from the front the door.

He didn't want to know what she was thinking. This was probably the greatest gift she could imagine, a home where they would both stay. Something that was his and hers. Juvia's eyes were shining just the way he had expected them to during their meal. She was long gone in her own fantasy world and had left him to clean up this mess.

"We can't accept a house." Gray tried to ignore the proud looks on the face of the villagers.

"Even if you have other missions, you need a place to base out of, don't you?" one of the women walked out of the house, cleaning supplies in hand. "We just finished. It's all clean and furnished."

He shook his head. "We already have a home in Magnolia. We can't accept this."

The woman frowned, glancing toward her husband for help. He shrugged. It was obvious Gray had disappointed them, but what did they expect? Did they look homeless? He had received extra gifts before for missions, but never something as grand as this. A billiards table or maybe tickets to a hot spring; not a house. He could feel Juvia stir beside him, pulled out of her trance and back to reality.

"Juvia, we need to go-" Gray turned to leave, catching her eye as he did.

"Let's stay, Gray-sama."

He paused. "What?"

"We'll stay just for a little while." she turned her attention from the house to him, her voice almost pleading. "Gray-sama and Juvia can continue their hunt for clues without involving anyone else that way."

"If you want to stay, you can. I'm not."

Gray turned to leave, everything within him warning that this was not what he needed. Distance was what would keep Juvia safe, not living together in this little hut in the middle of the woods. He already knew they couldn't go back to Magnolia. Juvia's dorm at Fairy Hills was demolished in the blast, and his landlord had evacuated and closed down the apartments Gray had been living in. There was nothing to go back to, the only thing he had left was the will of his father. Defeat E.N.D. He need to find clues, not play house with Juvia.

If she wanted to stay here, then that would be her choice. He wasn't staying, he had too many other things to do. Her staying behind here served his purpose well enough; the further he got, the less likely she was to follow. If she didn't follow him, then she couldn't get hurt because of him.

The feel of her fingers about his wrist, gentle but fierce, pulled his attention back to her. Gone was the glazed look that told him she was dreaming. Gone were the smile lines that etched the corners of her face. In place of it was a sheen of desperation, and it caused him to stop.

"Just for a few days?" she was bargaining. "If Gray-sama doesn't like it, then Juvia will not make him stay. Please?"

In the back of his mind, the idea clawed at him that was much as he wanted to create a distance they were beyond that now. He had crossed that line and she stood with her toes just at it's edge. If he left, could he really relax knowing she was alone? What if something happened and he came to see her and she was already gone? Gray knew that he was what Juvia had right now, and if she felt he needed her she would follow him to the ends of earthland, across Fiore and the seas. He couldn't stop her if he wanted to.

The best way to keep her out of danger was to keep her close. She didn't want to leave.

If she wouldn't go, then he couldn't either. Even if he did, his feet would bring him right back to her, craving the sunlight that hid his darkness. He couldn't name the pull that seemed to keep them together, the one that made sure he was always there just in time and the one that had her brightening his darkest moments, but it was there and it was tugging on him now.

He was tired of hurting her, and Gray knew that if he left Juvia now it would hurt her, and eventually that it would hurt him too. He had said he was with her. Living with her like this scared him, but it was no different than living with her in inns and hotels like a nomad.

"Just a few days. Then we leave."

There had never really been any other choice.

* * *

"Look!"

The villagers had left them, pleased that their gift had been received and Gray's agreement that they would stay. Juvia had led the way inside when Gray refused to carry her over the threshold, and had been investigating every nook and cranny since. He had stationed himself on a chair in the open living space, staring into the empty fireplace wondering how exactly his mission to destroy E.N.D had instead built him a house.

A house with Juvia in it.

"Gray-sama, are you listening?"

"Yeah?"

Clanging noises echoed from the kitchen. Gray still didn't move from his chair to see whatever it was she had wanted him to look at. It felt safer here, like he could build a wall that would split the house in two parts, his and hers, and keep the awkwardness of living together at bay. That's what this was— living together. They weren't co-ed roommates, or friends who decided to stay together for a bit. This was different. They were in a house that they owned.

Gray knew Juvia loved him. He knew his title for her was more complicated than friendship. They weren't dating and they weren't married, but it felt like they'd somehow jumped past all those milestones and had landed living together in their house in the woods.

Living together. Not rooming. Not dorming. Not sleeping over.

This had been a bad idea.

"There are two bedrooms and the closets have some extra clothes." Juvia walked around the corner, changed from her usual attire into a simple knee length skirt and t-shirt, hair pulled back into a pony tail.

This was definitely a bad idea. "They said they made sure we were good for a few days."

"The furniture is nice! Juvia believes it's hand made." She ran her fingers along the wooden arm of the love seat, dipping over the rough chiseled surface. "Thank you, Gray-sama."

"For what?"

"Juvia has never had a home of her own, where someone would be waiting and be happy to see her. Thank you for letting her pretend for a little bit."

She finished her rotation about the furniture and took a seat, legs pulled up toward her chest. Juvia didn't look sad, though her comment had stung a bit. She had never had a home? He could assume she wasn't counting the guild and the dorms, but a house with family and rooms that felt lived in and warm. Gray hadn't thought to ask how old she was when she was first orphaned; it wasn't a conversation topic many people breeched. Most of the mages in Fairy Tail had a tragic story, and Gramps had built the guild into the family that they had lost.

Juvia hadn't grown up with them, though, so she didn't have the history with it's walls and people that he did. Gray could remember when Cana first arrived, before they knew she was Gildart's child. He remembered Mira before having lost Lisanna, not just after having recovered her. He had grown up idolizing Laxus before his moment of rebellion.

And where had she been? Who did she know?

"I'm not pretending."

She's eyes widened in surprise. "Gray-sama... wants to stay here with Juvia?"

"Not that. I don't need the house to feel welcome with you. You're always happy to see me."

"So Gray-sama is happy when he sees Juvia?"

Gray shook his head. "Don't ask for specifics, just take it for what it is."

If there were any other questions burning on her lips, they remained there as she snuggled further into the cushions. Her smile had gone from longing to content, and Gray felt the tension in shoulders ease. He had been prepared for her to react in the usual way— outlandish and loud— but she had surprised him again by reacting shy and subdued. It was weird, although he couldn't say he didn't like it. She had always been more toned down when it was just the two of them, but this...

This Juvia was different. It was as if she savored the fact he was still within her presence, and at the same time feared he would up and leave. She was still hurting over his father; he guessed that was a guilt that would take time to heal. The more time that passed, the less wounded and more thankful he felt.

There was one thing that didn't add up, though.

"How did you know he was my dad?"

She jumped at the question. So he had been right; Silver was exactly what she was thinking about. It surprised him how when he slowed down enough to really focus on her, Juvia was quite easy to read. Then again, he couldn't remember a time when he had let himself be this aware of her.

"The necromancer told her. Then, Gray-sama's father spoke to Juvia telepathically." the words fell from her lips as if she were confession her sins to a priest.

Now it was his turn to be surprised; he leaned forward. "He what?"

"Juvia's not sure! She was fighting the and all of a sudden Father's voice popped in her head! He asked Juvia —" Juvia stopped mid sentence and averted her eyes toward her lap, cheeks burning red. "He confused Juvia for Gray-sama's girlfriend. She told him no, though! Juvia would never lie!"

Gray fell back into his chair. Of course his dad would think Juvia was his girlfriend. Dirty old man had targeted her on purpose. Just what all had he seen of the Grand Magic Games, anyway?

"He told Juvia that she needed to defeat Keyes, to keep FACE from activating. Juvia told him that she knew that if she did destroy him, that Father would die too. He said he didn't have much time anyway so she had to, because it was what was best for you, Gray-sama."

He must have already broken down at the point he reached out for Juvia's help. Silver had not been surprised when Gray said he couldn't kill him, despite the fact he was an enemy and had hurt him. He always had a back up plan anyway— Juvia. It hadn't been him who laid that burden on her shoulders, it had been his father. It wasn't something she just happened to learn in passing.

She had done it knowing exactly what she was doing. She had done it for him.

"He stopped talking to Juvia after that, so she had to trust that Gray-sama's father knew what was best for him. Juvia never wanted to hurt you, but..."

"No. You did the right thing."

"He spoke to Juvia once more, after it was over. He said it was okay." Juvia hesitated, then lifted her eyes to meet his. "He told Juvia to take care of Gray-sama."

Silence fell over them, but their gazes didn't break. Gray felt as if he could grasp the warring within Juvia as she tried to battle out the decision to destroy Keith and kill Silver for him. He wasn't sure he could have done the same, but she was made out of things that were more resilient than he was. Caring, compassionate, courageous— when she was tried, she back stronger and fuller. He came back darker and more frightened.

Fear, Gray realized, was his biggest motivator. It dictated all of his choices. He was afraid to go on living knowing Deliora was still living. He was afraid to confront Lyon on Galuna Island, afraid to expose his past. He was afraid to keep fighting when dying was easier. He was afraid of failing. He was afraid of losing someone else.

He was afraid of Juvia, because she presented a world of emotion he had shunned and with it the possibility of having it all ripped away.

"So you thought the best thing to do was to tell me the truth, and then say goodbye."

"Juvia didn't deserve to keep a secret like that from Gray-sama."

Gray shook his head. "You need to stop blaming yourself. It's what he wanted, and I couldn't do it. You did me a favor, Juvia."

"But-"

"There isn't anything else to say. That's the truth." He closed his eyes, and the moment disappeared.

* * *

Juvia excused herself to bed an hour later, when they had spent as much time in the same room in silence as either of them could take. She bid him goodnight and disappeared into one of the bedrooms, door closing lightly behind her. Gray stayed in the same chair with no motivation to move. He _was_ tired, but the idea of sleeping didn't tempt him at all.

He had enough of that for one day.

Separated from the battle and the ridiculous situation that ended him in this house, with Juvia's prying hands and questioning eyes out of the way, Gray ventured into the kitchen. It was sparsely decorated. A small table atop a rug with two chairs in the center of the room, the counter top which wrapped around the corner of the east wall housed the refrigerator, sink and stove. He opened the fridge and welcomed it's chill.

There was beer. He took one and popped it open with a twist of his wrist, chugging the contents in three gulps. It had no burn but the bitter citrus carried the hint of alcohol into his system almost immediately. Whatever this stuff was, it was exactly what he needed. He took one more and then shut the door.

Gray pulled out a chair and slumped over the table. There was no one around to tell him to sit up, and no one to question his mood. Even though he knew Juvia was only a wall away he couldn't remember ever feeling so isolated. His life had turned upside down in less than two weeks, taking drastic turns he hadn't accounted for and drawing in people he thought were lost and others he tried to keep at bay. He twisted the bottle in his hands over the tabletop, watching the water bead along it's neck and slide across the label.

He had both seen his father and lost him, inheriting his devil slaying power and goal of defeating E.N.D. He absorbed a curse that was meant to kill Zeref. The guild disbanded and he became an independent mage. He had gone back to the home he had left behind after Ur, and taken comfort in Juvia, who he had rejected only a few months earlier. He had taken on a mission and dreamed his deepest fears, and now he was living in this house with the biggest enigma of his life.

It was overwhelming. He slammed the beer back, letting the alcohol splash over his throat and coat it with carbonated relief.

Now that he was alone with nothing to distract him from what he had seen, Gray stopped denying himself and let the damned nightmare come back to the forefront. If he squinted, the water on the bottle became her blood, rolling through the creases of his fingers. He could feel the thick stickiness and smell the sickening sweetness of it. Her voice echoed in his head, telling him there was no reason to grieve. Her life would always belong to him, as she had always hoped it would.

The fear was still there, deep in the bruised corners of his heart, but before that was anger. Pure, unadulterated rage seeping into his muscles, tightening his jaw and forcing his teeth to grind together. He knew that the dream was more than just a nightmare, it had been a warning. Gray had nightmares of his friends dying, he relived losing Ur and his parents sometimes too, but this was different. The emotions still stuck with him. He had felt the pain of his body and the cool weight of the chain around his neck.

This was a premonition of something to come.

The bottle in his hands frosted over, and the next slosh of beer past his lips was filled with slush. It just pissed him off more. He wanted a goddamn beer to clear his head, not frozen chunks in beer water.

He wanted to analyze it and figure out how the hell he was supposed to stop Juvia from dying in the first place. Gray didn't want to see anyone he loved hurt, but she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve to think the only way her life could be his was if she lost it protecting him. He had spent so much time up until now, always making sure she was safe. He saved her on Tenrou Island. He protected her during the Dragon Festival, and he arrived in time to keep Silver from freezing her.

She didn't know it, but her life was already his, because without it Gray wasn't sure what gave him purpose. Saving her was proof that he did more than bring about death, that he could change his path and redirect the curse. His shadow could lurk as close as it wanted but Juvia was always, always hands off. He didn't know when protecting her had gone from something he did for a friend to something he did specifically for _her_ , but he knew it wasn't one int the same anymore.

Up until now, he had kept her safe by holding her at arms length. The Juvia in the dream had been held there too, because she didn't know a thing about how damn confused she made him. She didn't know what he really wanted or what it would do to him if he lost her. Juvia had gone to her death and taken Gray with her; whatever humanity kept him sane, whatever kept him walking, whatever kept him breathing and his heart beating...

Gray shoved the bottle across the table and knit his hands into his hair.

 _God dammit, how the hell was he supposed to stop this?_ All he had at his disposal was a power he couldn't control and the chilling image of her dead in his arms. _Dead for him._

He got up from the chair long enough to retrieve another beer and then sat back down, glaring down the neck of the bottle to the sloshing amber liquid within. It wouldn't drown out the feeling of Juvia's life leaving her body, but it quieted her voice. Maybe that was as much as he could hope for tonight, with the reality of it still so raw.

Gray kept drinking. He forgot how many bottles he pulled from the fridge, but eventually the lull of alcohol drew his eyelids closed. He didn't move from the table or clean up his mess, instead drawing his head to the heat of his arms and the coolness of the tabletop. He didn't want to move or get comfortable. Comfort was dangerous.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

When Gray woke, it was to the smell of peppered eggs and toast warmed with sweet sticky jam. He struggled to sit back straight in the chair, arms half asleep and neck stiff from the angle he had been laying. The table had been cleared of beer bottles and the spill he was sure he caused was gone. Light filtered through the window in front of him, causing sharp pain in the back of his eyes.

A hangover. Great.

"Gray-sama's awake!"

He froze in place, dazed, until he remembered where he was. This wasn't his apartment in Magnolia; the table was wrong and the window was in the wrong place. She hadn't snuck in. This was the house the villagers had given them. He had slept at the table while he was in a house with Juvia. No, correction: He had gotten drunk at the table and passed out while Juvia was sleeping in a house that was now theirs.

Their house. Yesterday it had seemed overwhelming but today it just felt unreal.

Juvia set a plate down in front of him along with a large glass of water. She said nothing about finding him in the kitchen, or the mess she had cleaned up without waking him. She didn't seem disappointed in the slightest. Another plate of food and a cup of tea sat at the opposite end of the table; he opened his eyes to watch her as she walked around to the chair and untied the apron about her waist.

For a short moment, he was disappointed she had taken it off. Then the smell of eggs churned his stomach, and he squinted his eyes closed.

"Should Juvia close the curtains?"

"Yeah. Please."

The sound of fabric drawing over the glass tempted him to open his eyes again. Juvia twisted and held out her arms, displaying the fare she had placed on the table.

"Good morning, Gray-sama! Juvia made breakfast!"

In the dim morning light, Gray glanced toward his plate. It was simple enough, a few eggs and a slices of toast with jam, but she had also sliced apples and avocados and placed them in the center for them to pick from. If his stomach wasn't so angry about the heavy food and gallons of beer he drank, it might even look good.

She made it for him and he couldn't enjoy it. "Thanks, but—"

"Juvia has dreamed of this for so long!" without waiting for his response, she slid into her seat. "To be able to make Gray-sama breakfast and eat it at the same table! It's our first meal together in our home."

Of course this was something Juvia would think was special. She cooked for him all the time, with varying results of success in getting him to eat it, and they'd shared many meals together on missions. If he had been more like Natsu he probably wouldn't get why this was different. She hadn't made this for him. She made it for _them._ The first meal they would eat together in this house that was theirs. The first breakfast. The first morning.

He had to eat it. There was no one else here to get him out of this one, no Elfman to steal the bread or Gajeel to tease Juvia into embarrassment, no Natsu to demand his own share. It was just the two of them in their house eating breakfast after he spent the night trying to draw clarity from alcohol. All he had come up with was that his approach to all things Juvia needed to change.

Despite the twisting in his gut, Gray reached for the bread. "How long have you been up?"

"An hour." the change in topic didn't seem to deter her, so he considered his deflection a success. "Juvia was surprised to see Gray-sama stayed up so late."

The bread was agreeing with him. She had loaded four slices of toast on his plate, and Gray was grateful. The acid in his stomach began to calm. "I was thinking."

"They must not have been good thoughts."

He glanced up from the plate, expecting to see sadness in her face but instead finding contentment. She smiled and sat awkwardly straight, as if she were afraid to mess up this moment. Juvia was walking on eggshells; she glanced in his direction once and then shot her gaze in the opposite direction. Gray hadn't known she could be shy; she had always been so bold with him before, asking for him to do inappropriate things and jumping to intense conclusions about their honeymoon and kids.

This Juvia was new. He kind of liked it.

"This is good, by the way."

"Th-thank you, Gray-sama!" her fork nearly fell from her fingers; she set the edge of her hand on the table beside the plate to steady her fingers. "Juvia wishes she could have done more this is all she had to work with."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

Juvia blinked, turning her attention back to her own untouched plate.

"Don't make me eat alone. It's the first meal, right?"

When she turned to look at him, Gray couldn't help himself. He smiled, motioned for her to join him, and then watched as she took her first bite. This was not the usual way spending time with Juvia went; she was the one to catch him off guard, not the other way around. The pink hadn't left her cheeks although she lost some of the stiffness. A part of Gray, buried deep behind his icy walls, was tempted to see how else he could take control of a situation and leave her speechless.

The rest of Gray ignored that part and focused on the meal. He would regret eating the eggs later, but a prideful part of him refused to leave a half empty plate. She put effort into this and intended for it to be special. It was all just breakfast to him, but it meant something to her and for the first time he felt as if he had a responsibility to play his part. Seeing her happy washed out the image of her dying.

He could repaint that portrait if he tried hard enough. The world didn't have to know the horror he had seen, and she didn't have to suffer it. They would keep looking for clues to E.N.D. They could stay at this house for a while, where he could get to know her strengths and weaknesses and devise a plan to keep her safe. When the time came for him to face Zeref, he would convince her he had to do it alone.

Then after...

Gray wasn't really sure what he would do after. What was there to do once the father of demons was gone and E.N.D had been destroyed? He had never imagined his life after that point, other than the fact he wanted an apprentice. There would be a lot of future to fill with such a measly goal. Then again, his entire life was up in the air at this point. All the solid things he had thought would still be there were now gone— the guild, his friends.

The only constant that remained was Juvia.

* * *

Living with Juvia was not going to be easy. Gray realized by mid afternoon that there were a lot of things he didn't know about living with someone else, let alone a woman. Was he supposed to stay in the same space as her at all times? Was it wrong if the silence between them went on for too long? How did one approach someone who was equally as concerned about doing something wrong?

Eventually he had given up and excused himself into the village to look for work. They would need a mission sooner or later, and although he didn't believe most of the villagers to be mages he wanted to make sure they got a mission that would give them more leads on Zeref and E.N.D. The goal of finishing out his father's will had not changed even if their living arrangements had. Since the village had no inns, he went back to the center square to look for an announcement board.

The area was still littered with debris from the fight, but the town was now bustling with people moving about and rebuilding. Carts of household wares, clothing, fruit and supplies had created a semi circle about the dais he spotted the day before. Gray walked past them and straight to the board, ignoring the thankful smiles that were sent his way.

They were thanking the wrong person. Juvia had won that fight, not him.

Despite being an announcement board, it wasn't much help. The wood was littered with paper flyers for expired incoming caravans, a sign up sheet to volunteer for the villages monthly community improvement, a reminder of upcoming nuptials, funeral details and a birth announcement. No missions, but it was pretty obvious the people here had no secrets from each other.

Except for the newcomers. That was the only recent announcement, tucked away in the bottom right corner— it had their names and a description of the house they were given, asking the people to give them a warm welcome and help them become accustomed to life hidden in their wooden thicket. Gray shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away from the board, irritated. He and Juvia didn't need anyone prying into their short stay in the village. He didn't want to become a part of this town.

It was a just a house. This wasn't his home.

"Looking for something?"

Gray turned his attention from the board to the man beside him. He was young and obviously strong, built similar to Elfman. He couldn't sense any magic power flowing in him but the man smirked at him as if they were co-conspirators preparing some sort of mischief. He squinted, he looked like a beefed up version of Natsu with green hair.

"Sorry. You just got here and no one's really introduced themselves. We're not used to having to explain who we are." the man extended his hand to shake. "My name's Ren."

He took the man's hand and shook, pretty sure he was going to lose his fingers in the process. "Gray, and yeah, I was looking for work."

"Wizard guild kind of stuff, right?" Ren leaned over the board and shook his head. "Wrong spot. This is just community announcements, and it's all old anyway. You actually want to see that guy."

Ren pointed across the market square to a small stand at the side Gray had come in from. There were no wares or products for purchase, but the person stationed in it was surrounded by stacks of paper looking bored. He had walked right past him without even noticing he was there.

"He comes in a few times a week, sometimes with work that doesn't require a mage and other times hoping to catch one wondering through. If you stay a while I'm sure he'll pop up more often."

"Yesterday no one wanted to come near this village."

Ren shrugged. "Not many of us were ready to sleep again, so we spent the better part of the night spreading the good news. The first peddlers started arriving just around noon, which is late. They're usually here before sunrise."

"Thanks." Gray turned toward the messenger stand with a short wave of his hand.

"Hey!" Ren's voice echoed behind him. "If you have time, my wife would love to meet yours! You should come for lunch sometime."

"She's not my wife!" he stopped but didn't bother turning around. He could tell his face was flushed. "She's a friend."

Ren's smile didn't disappear, but his hands found rest on his hips. "Right. Well, come have lunch with us sometime and bring your friend along, then."

There were many words at the end of Gray's tongue, but none of them would make the situation any better. There was doubt in the smooth way Ren transitioned and accepted his correction without question. The guy didn't believe him, and arguing his point wouldn't make it any better. He was backed into a corner, so the only option now was to run— or in Gray's case, walk to the messenger booth and see what kind of work he could get lost in.

Lunch with Ren and his wife was not high on Gray's list of things to do, that was for sure.

* * *

"A mission?" Juvia accepted the paper Gray had returned with, reading over the details and reward. "Gray-sama wants to leave already?"

"We can't stay forever. I have to find E.N.D."

She nodded slowly, then handed the paper back to him. "Then Gray-sama can go, and Juvia will wait for him here."

Gray didn't accept the bulletin back, his eyes narrowing. She would wait for him here? He had purposely selected a mission he thought would bring them closer to his answers and provide enough work for both of them. Did she seriously think he was going to go out on a mission without her after he had invited her along in the first place?

"You don't want to go?"

"Juvia isn't ready to leave our home." her words were strong. "If we both go, then there will be no reason to come back. If Gray-sama goes, then Juvia will wait for him. If Juvia goes alone..."

"No one is going alone and no one is staying behind."

This was starting to get ridiculous. Gray knew this was his own fault. He had allowed her to talk him into staying in the house. He had let her serve breakfast for them and bustle about the house as if it were hers to claim and his to return to. She wasn't ready to let go yet and he wanted to keep pressing forward.

"Will we come back?"

There was the question he hadn't wanted her to ask. He groaned, nothing bothering to cover up his annoyance. It was just a stupid house that she had accepted as their home. It might be hers now, but that didn't mean it was his. There was no hidden rule that said whatever was hers was also his. They weren't married. They weren't even dating— Gray didn't even know what to call them at this point. Friends traveled together, took missions, and then parted ways. That didn't define their relationship. He and Juvia were connected like a bouy in the ocean, always skirting the surface but never sinking beneath the waves.

Gravity always held them back.

"Maybe. It depends on what we find. We may have to keep following leads."

She frowned, and for the first time Gray realized that where he had expected her to follow him blindly, she would not. There were limits to her patience with him. It wasn't like she had never corrected him before— she had pointed out his poor attitude on more than one occasion and had urged him to change it. Juvia had never outright refused him something, especially an offer of companionship.

He'd never had to actively try for her support, it had always just been there with no need for compromise. Then again, he was finding out rather quickly that there were a lot of things about Juvia he had never noticed or simply taken for granted. She was shy beneath the boldness that had always made him uncomfortable. She could jump to conclusions about his intentions but when he responded in turn, it through her off balance. She never had a home to call her own, and she kept secrets and harbored guilt like anyone else. Now he could add stubborn to the list.

"Juvia will go." she continued to frown. "If Gray-sama will promise we will return home. She wants to help as long as Gray-sama will allow."

He had to promise? Gray didn't like the sinking feel that dropped into his chest. He had made a habit of not promising anything if he could help it. That meant he was giving his word to something he couldn't guarantee. He could promise his foes that he wouldn't lose to them twice, because his cool confidence gave him the ability to see the limit in their techniques. He could promise that the guild would win, because they never lost. These were tested and tried and Gray was comfortable with them.

This was like someone asking him to promise he'd keep his clothes on. Sometimes, things just happened— or shirts got lost. He wasn't about that kind of commitment.

"Juvia..."

"Gray-sama said he felt welcome with Juvia. Juvia... wants to feel the same way."

That stung in places Gray hadn't known could hurt. She was right. He hadn't exactly done anything to make her feel welcome, just asked her to come along on this hunt for E.N.D and then struggled along the line of how he was to supposed to handle this awkwardness between them. He'd given in to some of her requests, but he hadn't made it seem like he was happy about any of it. His hand found the back of his head, tugging the hair there out of frustration.

 _Stop hurting her,_ he reminded himself. _She doesn't deserve it._

"I'm sorry." Juvia shook her head, but he cut off. "No, don't tell me not to be. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't want you around. We'll come back to the house when the missions over."

This was hard. He wasn't good at this stuff. He hadn't needed to compromise with someone before because it had always just been him in the end; it didn't matter how the other person felt because as long as they were alive he could handle their anger. Juvia didn't get angry, though. She didn't become disappointed. She just got hurt, and somewhere along the line he had decided he didn't like that. Then he'd decided to trust her with his brokenness, and she'd shielded him and kept his secrets.

It wasn't that she was making him do any of this— he'd decided to make this change himself, because she deserved better from him. The Juvia in his nightmare hadn't known her value and died without learning it . She hadn't felt welcome, and he wanted desperately to change that.

He'd managed to get through most of the day without thinking about it, but with her looking at him the way she was now it was impossible.

"Then Juvia will go." the smile had returned to her lips.

Gray breathed a sigh of relief. "We'll leave in the morning then."


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

The mission hadn't uncovered any clues on E.N.D. Neither had the mission after it or the one after that. Gray and Juvia both kept their eyes and ears open for any hint of their targets the entire way back to the village, but to no avail. No one had heard of the book, but everyone had heard of its master and eventually they realized rumors surfaced easily but rarely held merit. They would need to dig deeper and go after bigger prey with more sinister motives to find what they were seeking.

With Tartaros gone and Zeref in possession of the book, there was not much else to go off. They circled back to the village late in the evening three weeks later with nothing to show for their efforts but a few extra jewel and weary muscles. Gray had to admit that the idea of having his own space to rest in was tempting. Juvia had spoken highly of the things she wanted to do when they made it back to the house, and the closer they came the more he could feel his own anticipation build.

A warm bath. A good meal. A nice chair, fresh clothes, a bed in its own private room. Even after only two days in the house, it was still the most familiar place he had. It didn't make it a home, but he couldn't deny that Juvia had been right; having somewhere to base out of made the missions easier, and gave them somewhere to relax when leads were scarce. He liked having something to return too instead of drifting.

The trail diverged through the wood and narrowed, forcing them to walk single file instead of side by side. Gray led the way until it opened to the clearing and fence that surrounded the house. A package sat by the door and the light on the porch was on, but otherwise it looked exactly the same as they had left it, an awkward structure in the center of a forest.

"We're back."

"No, Gray-sama." Juvia came beside him, the weariness in her body masked by the warmth of her face. "We are home."

She didn't give him the chance to correct her, sweeping past the gate to the front door. Gray could have followed her and told her that he had meant it exactly how he had said it, but instead, he watched her lift the package and read the note attached to it and said nothing at all. Juvia smiled brightly before opening the box and producing a tomato.

"Juvia knows what we will have for dinner! This was left for us because we haven't started a garden yet."

"By who?"

She held out the note for him to read. "One of the village families. Does Gray-sama know them?"

Gray did, at least one of them; Ren's name was scrawled at the bottom beside what Gray assumed was his wife's name. How the hell had he known when they would be back? The date on the bottom showed that the box had probably been there a few days and was likely left in the hopes Gray and Juvia would return to claim it before it spoiled. They hadn't known at all. He was being paranoid.

"I bumped into this guy when I looking for a mission to take."

"Of course! Gray-sama left an impression on him, then."

No, he wanted to say, the guy thinks we're married. He knew better than to say "married" to Juvia, or at least he knew better than to say it to the old Juvia. This Juvia... Gray wasn't really sure what she'd think, or if she'd deny it as well the way she had told Silver she wasn't his girlfriend. He wasn't really sure he knew that much about her at all, and that made her all the more dangerous.

This Juvia was probably always there under the bravado and fantasies and made-up anniversaries, but he had focused more on those things than who she was at the core. It wasn't that he never cared, he did, but it had been simpler to find something he didn't like and focus on that. It made it easier to push her away. Now, as he held the door so she could carry the box inside, he felt stupid for not allowing himself to see her like this before.

Before Silver. Before Lyon and his stupid bet during the Grand Magic Games. Before Ultear and Tenroujima. Before the nightmare.

Gray flipped the lock but left the light on. "You don't need to cook right now. I'll put the stuff away."

Juvia placed the box on the kitchen table. "Gray-sama is sure?"

"Yeah. Go take a bath."

She hesitated for a moment before the weight of her muscles won out. "Thank you, Gray-sama. Juvia won't be long."

He watched her go, not noticing until she had turned the corner and was out of sight and his hand missed the box of vegetables that he had been staring and not paying attention to what he was doing. Juvia made him nervous, but it wasn't the kind that made him want to flee. This nervousness was more about the changes he could feel in the way he approached her. Gray had offered the bath to her not get her out of the way, but because he knew she was tired and he wanted her to rest. He was tired too, but a part of him was adamant that his rest could wait if it meant he was waiting for her.

So he put away the vegetables and ignored the lightness in his chest because that's what he always did. Ignored it.

The tomatoes went on the counter, the onions into the fridge, the fruit into a small bowl on the table. The box went into the corner by the trash bin. When that was done, he set their travel packs on the counter and started to empty those as well; anything mundane to smother the feeling creeping through his chest. Clothes fell to the floor, travel dishes into the sink, jewel hidden under a jar in the highest cabinet he could reach.

It didn't help. Juvia's things were mixed with his, and Gray found it more natural than he did strange. His decisions, his actions, his feelings, this house, his fears... Juvia somehow had a hand in all of it. Somewhere along the line, he'd stopped existing just for himself and the dark vengeance chilling within him. He had begun to _live._

Unfortunately for Gray, living meant awkward situations like this, where he stood in the kitchen of an unfamiliar home picking his and Juvia's clothes from the floor only to realize he had no idea where the hamper was. He needed to find that hamper before someone burst through the door and accused him of raiding Juvia's panties. There were panties in this pile, and bras, and Gray suddenly realized there would be no one for him to pin this on if someone did decide to walk in.

This wasn't the guild, though. It would just be him and Juvia's undergarments until he figured out where to put them. He couldn't just leave them on the floor, that looked even more incriminating. The last thing he needed was for Juvia to think he went digging in her bag out of perverted curiosity and then deemed them— no. No. He was not going to think about that right now. Trying to be nice had put him in this situation.

All he had wanted was to let her take a bath!

 _The bathroom._

The hamper was in the bathroom.

"Shit," Gray muttered, feet weighed to the floor.

He was going to have to go to the bathroom, where Juvia was bathing, with their dirty clothes in hand. He had to open the door and throw the clothes in the basket, without letting her know he had done it at all. Or he could just stuff the clothes back in their travel bags, and leave her to wonder how everything else was pulled out.

What if he accidently stuffed one of his boxers in her bag? Or worse, what if one of her undergarments got stuffed in his? Would she assume he'd gone digging through her things? Was Juvia the type of person who meticulously placed things in her bag and would know if he had disturbed it? How was he going to explain himself? Would it even matter?

He wouldn't believe himself either.

Not that he was that kind of guy; panty raiding was a Lyon thing. Lyon's face popped in Gray's head, and he decided that Lyon was the cause of all of this. Stupid Lyon and his stupid face and his stupid bet and his stupid crush on Juvia put Gray in this position now. If he were there, Gray could just blame him and no one would be the wiser. Juvia would believe him then.

Yes. This was Lyon's fault. His stupid was catching and Gray had caught it.

The bath water had been flowing for a while, and if he remembered correctly there was half of a wall between the door and the bath for privacy, and then a curtain. He could get in and out without Juvia ever knowing, and then just tell her he'd tossed them in the bin on his way into the bathroom for his own bath. It wasn't invading her privacy if he wasn't in there long enough to do anything, right?

At the moment there really wasn't any other choice. He had to go in, so he headed down the hall and stood in front of the door and listened. Juvia was mumbling, talking, or singing— Gray couldn't tell— to herself behind the door. She hadn't gotten into the bath yet, but he could hear her feet pad across the floor and feel the heat of the steam in the room coming out from beneath the door. He waited silently, face flushed until it sounded as if she had turned the corner and water splashed.

Three seconds. Open, dump, close. That was all he was going to allow himself. Gray tested the lock and it let loose without much effort. He stopped again, closed his eyes, and then pushed the door open.

A rush of damp heat slammed into his body, choking the air out of his lungs. He fought not to cough and turned toward the hamper, dropping the clothes. Except the hamper wasn't there and the clothes fell on his feet. Gray's three seconds were up, his eyes were open and the hamper was not where it was supposed to be. Juvia must have moved it; there was only so much space in the room, but he couldn't leave the clothes on the floor.

Gray turned, expecting to find the hamper tucked near the wall that hid the bath. The hamper was there, just out of his reach. Juvia was there too.

Completely naked.

She blinked at him, skin moist and pink from the warmth behind her. Her arms were up above her head in the process of tying the inky blue of her hair out of the way. There was nothing blocking her from his view.

He blinked, but he didn't look away.

She blinked, but she didn't move.

What was he supposed to do? He'd always known she had good legs, and that she was slender about the waist but heavier in the chest; he'd always known her hips were smooth and tastefully wide. That had been obvious, no matter how modestly she tried to dress. That wasn't what kept his eyes on her when he should have turned and bolted out of the house.

Juvia had a scar on her right shoulder; it was darker than the rest of her skin. She had a dimple over her left hipbone. Her breasts were large but not intimidating and Gray was sure they were just as soft as he remembered. It wasn't like he never noticed that she was beautiful, but seeing her like this proved that she wasn't just pretty— she had character. Her body was endearing and he wanted to see more of it.

Then she screamed.

"Gray-sama!" Juvia suddenly came to herself, pulling her arms down and crouching to cover her nakedness. "Gray-sama should have knocked first!"

"I just—"

"GET OUT!"

Gray got out just as she turned to throw a bar of soap at him; it hit the wall just above his head as he turned the corner. He scrambled his way back down the hall and into the next room over, slamming the door behind him. His heart pounded in his chest, though the message his blood was sending was mixed. Fear, shame, and victory.

He just saw Juvia naked, and it was painfully wonderful.

* * *

"Gray-sama?"

God, he needed to get her to stop calling him that. The hair on the back of Gray's neck raised, along with the memory of her surrounded by a heated mist in their bathroom. He liked it too much, in a very insincere way. He turned around the corner, rubbing the remaining water out of his hair with a towel.

"Yeah?"

"Juvia finished dinner if Gray-sama is hungry."Her cheeks were tinged pink as moved stiffly about the table, her back to him.

Apparently, she was dreading this interaction as much as he was.

Gray settled the towel about his shoulders to catch any remaining droplets from his hair and took the seat on the opposite side of her. The food must have just come off the stove; it was fragrant and bubbling in the center of the table, begging to be devoured. His stomach growled.

"Spaghetti?"

"Juvia made the sauce from scratch."

The tomatoes in the box. Right. The damned box and cleaning that got him into this whole situation in the first place. They deserved to be eaten, and they smelled delicious. Gray didn't wait for Juvia to serve him before plopping a pile of noodles and sauce on his plate and shoving them in his mouth.

It was good. It also kept him from saying anything stupid.

They ate in silence for a long while, Gray slurping away and Juvia nibbling distractedly. He reached for his third helping before he realized she'd barely touched her first one, the sauces hardening around the edges of her plate. Risking a glance from the food toward her face, Gray felt his stomach clench up and drop to the floor. He'd been so wrapped up in eating and avoiding the elephant in the room that he hadn't realized Juvia probably needed him to. Her expression quelled any appetite he thought he had.

He wasn't really sure what it was, but it couldn't be good.

"Juvia?" Gray dropped the tongs back into the noodles.

"Juvia is sorry she threw soap at Gray-sama!" the words flew out of her mouth but her head remained facing the floor. "She was just so surprised, and Juvia is uncomfortable—"

"Hold up. You're apologizing to _me_?"

She nodded. "Juvia knows Gray-sama meant no harm—and truly, Juvia is thrilled that he would even consider peeping on her at all—"

"I wasn't peeping, I was throwing the laundry in the hamper! Why the hell would I do a thing like that?"

"Gray-sama stared."

The towel went away. Damn, was it just him, or was it getting hot in here? Did Juvia leave the oven on or something? She had backed him into a corner and he wasn't sure how to get out of it; he'd fallen head first into her trap. She wanted to talk about this; knowing her, she probably even wanted him to admit it.

Like hell, he couldn't do that.

"No I didn't."

Gray was many things, but honesty still seemed to elude him when he was in the clutch. If this were a game of chess, he'd be praying for his foe to miss the change as check mate.

"Gray-sama did too."

Check.

"For a long time."

Mate.

He growled and ran his hands through his still wet hair. "What do you want me to say, Juvia? I'm sorry? I was just trying to drop the clothes in the hamper. If it could have waited I would have. It's not like I wanted to see you naked!"

She blinked, obviously taken aback, and then pushed herself away from the table. "Juvia is going to bed. Gr-Gray-sama can clean up or leave it for Juvia in the morning."

"You haven't eaten anything."

"Juvia isn't hungry anymore."

He reached for before he could stop himself; he knew exactly what he'd said that had upset her. The words had just come out, easy and familiar and stinging. It was what he'd always done when she stepped too close to the cage he'd built up around himself, and it was exactly what he'd told himself he wouldn't do. Not now, when he had promised himself he wouldn't hurt her.

"Eat something. You've been walking all day, and it's not like I said I didn't like what I saw, I just… I didn't mean to see it at all. I thought you were already in the bath."

Her cheeks turned cherry red, and Gray let go of her as if she'd burned him. What the hell had that been?

"Don't think about it too hard. It's nothing to get excited about. Just… eat something, okay?"

"Gray-sama liked seeing Juvia.."

"I said stop thinking about it!" he stomped across the kitchen to grab his towel.

Damn it all to hell. There was no walking out of this one, was there? He was completely at her mercy. If she wouldn't drop it, he'd have to come up with some kind of excuse as to why her being naked was nothing special—maybe that he'd seen Erza and Lucy naked tons of times and it wasn't a bad experience. It was technically true but neither of them was Juvia, who had thrown him into a complete panic. Seeing her naked had been different because there was a part of him that had always been a little curious how the things he'd felt actually looked on her.

"Next time, Gray-sama should knock first." Her voice was teasing but Gray could hear her chair sliding across the floor as she moved back to the table to eat. She was going to let it drop.

He lifted a hand in acknowledgment. "I will."


End file.
